The Literally Frog Prince

Once upon a time, there was a young princess that was so depressed because she was not included in any fairy tale. Her name was Unfortunella. Her cousin Cinderella (from her fairy godmother's side) always got the happy ending. The cleaning of the dirty floor, the poofing-in of the fairy godmother, the pumpkin carriage, the glass shoe, the prince looking for the owner of the shoe, the marriage, the pecking out of stepsister eyes... Unfortunella wanted all of that. But realizing that her name carried a curse itself, she went to the frog pond, to cry her poor unfortunate heart out.

Now, a frog dressed in a regal garb came. He saw Unfortunella, and took pity on her. The frog told her, "Hey, poor girl, what's the problem?" Unfortunella held her tears momentarily and then told the frog, "I don't have my own fairy tale! I want one! So sooooooooo baaaaaaadleeeeee..." and Unfortunella cried again.

"Well, it's your lucky day, I guess!" the frog exclaimed enthusiastically. "You know what? I was a prince once. I was cursed by an enchantress because I was a dumb, tactless prick just like Kanye West."

"The enchantress transformed me, but she told me that if somebody were to kiss me, I would become a prince again. So, I guess if you kiss me right now, you'd have your own fairy tale to narrate!"

Unfortunella, taking anti-logic to a new level, suddenly fell in love with the frog. It was just like those soap-operas with senseless plots and preposterous family connections. It didn't make sense at all. It was like Paris Hilton claiming she has common sense.

Anyway, back to the story...

Unfortunella held the frog at the palm of her hand and visions of living in a glorious white castle came to her. Her lips were a three-quarters of a foot away from the frog's lips, then half a foot, then a quarter... then their lips met.

Nothing happened.

"Just kidding," the frog said. Then the frog jumped away while you wonder what kind of crap you just read.